1. You’re insulted at their use of Baby Got Back.
2. You’re relieved when Snoop Dogg and Gwen Stefani come on stage. Finally someone you recognize. (They’re both over 40, FYI. Let’s sit on that for a moment, shall we?)
3. You get the irony in Katy Perry’s dress.
4. You’re surprised when the host walks out and it’s not Chris Rock.
5. You remember 1989, the year Taylor Swift was born. You were watching MTV then, too, but it was still music videos. Of Madonna. Singing Like a Prayer.
6. You still think Jim Carrey is funny.
7. You’re certain that Iggy Azalea is Paris Hilton’s daughter.
8. Kanye West is the only name you recognize in the Hip Hop nominees.
9. You’re wondering where Britney is.
10. You’re wondering where you can get the dress that Lorde’s mother is wearing.
11. You’re impressed with the use of pallets behind 5 Seconds of Summer. Then you find a picture of it online and pin it to your “DIY Pallet Ideas” board on Pinterest.
12. Maroon 5 is the highlight of your night.
13. You know that Beyonce is going to have to call in the extra nannies tomorrow for keeping Blue Ivy up that late.
14. You’ve been folding laundry this entire time.
photo via MTV.