(Psst! Follow The Parent Drinking Game on Instagram!)
Let’s be honest. Our kids’ homework is driving us to drink.
As I was having a beer while helping Janie with her homework last night, I realized that we’re really all in this together. Homework. Common Core. Math worksheets. Spelling tests. Trying to remember where the hell that comma goes.
And, since misery loves company, I’m happy to introduce bellingFAM’s own Homework Drinking Game.
You’ll never dread homework time again! (Although, your kids might start to…)
Don’t worry, the instructions are easy. Grab the drink of your choice — a glass of wine, a pint of beer, or something more serious in a coffee mug that makes it look like you’re drinking tea — then sit down with your kids to help with their homework.
Next, channel those good old college days and drink when…
- Your child brings up anything to do with Common Core. Drink again if you rolled your eyes.
- You start any sentence with “When I was in school…”
- You question if you even went to college considering you can’t seem to do 1st grade math problems
- You have to sign your full name in a teeny tiny box somewhere on your child’s homework sheet
- You successfully remember how to use it’s vs. its
- You have a child who can read to you, rather than the other way around
- You have to use Google to remember how to add/subtract/multiply/divide fractions
- You say “I before E” in your head… take two drinks if you say it out loud
- You try to convince your child to finish their homework in the morning… when your co-parent is on homework duty for the day
- You suggest they look that up in an encyclopedia and they look at you like your hair is on fire
- You get caught skipping pages when reading to your child
- You can actually spell any of the spelling words on their list yourself… one drink for every correct word, folks!
- Your child runs out of mechanical pencil lead and refuses to use an old fashioned No. 2
- There are assignments that need to be hand-written… drink once for double-spaced and twice for single-spaced
- You sign your name to each permission slip/release form/emergency information sheet/parent note in their folder
- You volunteered in their class today
- Your child had early-release or late-arrival today
- And, last, but not least, drink when they finish for the night… And, if they finished their homework in less than an hour, take another drink. Hell, pour yourself a fresh one. You deserve it.
Don’t miss our newest version… The “My Daughter is a Tween” Drinking Game for Parents.
Note: We hate to state the obvious, but drinking this much probably isn’t safe. This drinking game is only intended to be read for fun. They are not actual drinking suggestions. Because if you drank this much, you’d be drunk. Or if you’re me, super drunk. Please be safe and responsible and put the safety of your children first. <stepping down>