The Homework Drinking Game for Parents

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Homework Drinking Game

(Psst! Follow The Parent Drinking Game on Instagram!)

Let’s be honest. Our kids’ homework is driving us to drink.

As I was having a beer while helping Janie with her homework last night, I realized that we’re really all in this together. Homework. Common Core. Math worksheets. Spelling tests. Trying to remember where the hell that comma goes.

And, since misery loves company, I’m happy to introduce bellingFAM’s own Homework Drinking Game.

You’ll never dread homework time again! (Although, your kids might start to…)

Don’t worry, the instructions are easy. Grab the drink of your choice — a glass of wine, a pint of beer, or something more serious in a coffee mug that makes it look like you’re drinking tea — then sit down with your kids to help with their homework.

Next, channel those good old college days and drink when…

  • Your child brings up anything to do with Common Core. Drink again if you rolled your eyes.
  • You start any sentence with “When I was in school…”
  • You question if you even went to college considering you can’t seem to do 1st grade math problems
  • You have to sign your full name in a teeny tiny box somewhere on your child’s homework sheet
  • You successfully remember how to use it’s vs. its
  • You have a child who can read to you, rather than the other way around
  • You have to use Google to remember how to add/subtract/multiply/divide fractions
  • You say “I before E” in your head… take two drinks if you say it out loud
  • You try to convince your child to finish their homework in the morning… when your co-parent is on homework duty for the day
  • You suggest they look that up in an encyclopedia and they look at you like your hair is on fire
  • You get caught skipping pages when reading to your child
  • You can actually spell any of the spelling words on their list yourself… one drink for every correct word, folks!
  • Your child runs out of mechanical pencil lead and refuses to use an old fashioned No. 2
  • There are assignments that need to be hand-written… drink once for double-spaced and twice for single-spaced
  • You sign your name to each permission slip/release form/emergency information sheet/parent note in their folder
  • You volunteered in their class today
  • Your child had early-release or late-arrival today
  • And, last, but not least, drink when they finish for the night… And, if they finished their homework in less than an hour, take another drink. Hell, pour yourself a fresh one. You deserve it.

Don’t miss our newest version… The “My Daughter is a Tween” Drinking Game for Parents.

Note: We hate to state the obvious, but drinking this much probably isn’t safe. This drinking game is only intended to be read for fun. They are not actual drinking suggestions. Because if you drank this much, you’d be drunk. Or if you’re me, super drunk. Please be safe and responsible and put the safety of your children first. <stepping down>

30 thoughts on “The Homework Drinking Game for Parents”

  3. Pingback: The Homework Drinking Game for Parents | Definitely/Probably

  4. Anonymous

    This is from an 80 year grandmother and former teacher. I need a glass of wine just thinking about all these challenges!!

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  8. Erin

    Oh my gosh YES. My husband and I have had a joke for the last few years that we “take a shot” every time my kid does certain things during homework. We haven’t ever literally took shots but we should probably start. He throws himself on the floor in agony because he simply can’t answer another question? One of us yells to the other in the kitchen “Take a shot!” he claims to be done before finishing the second side of a work sheet? “Honey, take a shot!” It’s a little joke that we should probably turn into reality.

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  15. Katie Kavulla Post author

    Oh gosh. Good question. This is why I didn’t judge that teacher who recently came to school drunk. (Although, that was on the first day of school, so…) And, then, what about the teachers who also come home and help their OWN kids with homework? Oy. Bless them.

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  17. Katie Kavulla Post author

    Agreed! 100%! In fact, I’m pretty sure they got the short-end of the stick on the entire thing, since they’re the ones living it and wading through it with our kids every day…

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  23. Jessica Teague Caldwell

    Yes, I am one of those teachers who then has to come home and wade through homework with a child of my own. It’s pretty sad when the 6th grade math teacher has to call her second grader’s teacher because she’s not sure how to complete the problem. Oh I knew the correct answer, just not how to show it the way it was asking. UGH!!!

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