(Psst! Follow The Parent Drinking Game on Instagram!)
My oldest daughter turns ten today. TEN. When did that happen? I suppose around the same time I turned thirty-something. In my mind, she’s still six. And I’m still 26. Sigh. Where did the time go?
But now, we’re deep in the Land of Tween.
I had no idea this place existed. The one in between life with a child and life with a teenager. But, oh my, is it rough. The mood swings. The clothes. The hating of everything that breathes. Every time it breathes. I imagine that this is what it’s like having a wife.
Wait. Never mind.
The Homework Drinking Game for Parents was such a wild success and I’m so thrilled that I could help all of you drink your way through math worksheets and writing prompts (to date, it’s been shared on Facebook over 150,000 times!) that I knew that we needed a way to drink ourselves through the tween girl years, too.
So, I’m happy to introduce…
The “My Daughter is a Tween” Drinking Game for Parents
(Note: This game pairs nicely with wine. Straight from the bottle, if necessary. Screw-top only. You don’t want any sharp objects, like a bottle opener, anywhere in reach of your tween.)
The game is easy. Grab a glass and drink when…
- She slams the door. One drink for each time she opens it back up, yells something indistinguishable, and slams it again.
- There is nothing in her closet to wear, according to her. Drink again if you know that every piece of clothing she owns is clean.
- You have to tell her that leggings are not pants.
- She steals your cell phone to text her friends. Drink again if she also fills up all of your storage with selfie videos.
- You find a lip gloss that’s missing a lid.
- Taylor Swift lyrics cross her lips. Drink twice if you accidentally sing along with her. Three times if she starts singing that song about how some girl looks in some guy’s American Apparel underwear.
- She refuses to eat a meal… then eats you out of house and home an hour later.
- She smells worse than your teenage son.
- There is crying for no apparent reason. (Can we suggest a Costco membership? You’re going to need a case of wine for this one.)
- There are sleepovers. Drink once for every extra tween girl staying at your house overnight. Twice if they’ve taken over your living room. Three times if they’re staying past 9 a.m. the next morning.
- You forget the basic tween-survival rules and talk to her before she’s had a chance to wake-up properly in the morning. (Feel free to substitute mimosas/Bloody Mary’s for these circumstances.)
What would you add to the Tween Drinking Game? Suggestions welcome! We’ll add them, with credit!
Note: We hate to state the obvious, but drinking this much probably isn’t safe. This drinking game is only intended to be read for fun. They are not actual drinking suggestions. Because if you drank this much, you’d be drunk. Or if you’re me, super drunk. Please be safe and responsible and put the safety of your children first. <stepping down>
bellingFAM 
Pingback: The Homework Drinking Game for Parents | bellingFAM
When she wears an item of clothing belonging to someone else in the household. Drink twice if she didn’t ask to wear it. Three times if it’s a pair of your shoes or jewelry. Disclaimer: I do not, and will not, have a girl of my own. I speak from my experience of having been one. I borrowed everyone’s clothing without asking, even though my closet was stuffed with the most stylish wardrobe a teen girl in the mid-late 80’s could desire. (And I know the last part of that last sentence is an oxymoron.)
LikeLike
YES, Kristin! And, adding a drink for every time she has a toy/necklace/whatever that came from who-knows-where!
LikeLike
She yells “uggggghhhh!” when you ask her to do…anything. empty the dish washer, do her homework, feed the dog, wake up, go to bed, make popcorn. anything.
LikeLiked by 3 people
:) So funny!! I don’t know how many times I have had to tell my 9 1/2 year old that leggings are not pants. And Mary’s comment above is so true as well.
LikeLike
I’m laughing so hard, Mary! I know that “uggghhh!” SO WELL.
LikeLike
I love these posts Submitting a request for the next version: the drinking game for the parents of toddlers/preschoolers.–> one drink for every time you wiped someone else’s butt today ;).
LikeLike
I could drink the entire bottle cleaning up my phone after she has taken it over every day!
LikeLike
How about a drink for every eye roll? I could get hammered on those alone. 😕
LikeLike
Pingback: Hello, weekend! | bellingFAM
A drink for every time she says her room is clean, add a drink for every pile of clothes on the floor.
LikeLike
A drink for every time she refuses to brush her hair. Add another if she also refu see a to let anyone elseen do it. And another if she flatly refuses to consider ever cutting it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Drink once for every eye roll!
Drink once for every time she says “Mom, you’re embarrassing me!”
LikeLike
Take a drink every time she says “In a minute”; drink twice every time she says “I know!”
LikeLiked by 2 people
She attempts to take over your bathroom.
LikeLike
And a drink for every time she says, “I know,” then clearly demonstrates that she does not.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I would add a shot for every time something isn’t fair!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Pingback: Kid style: Custom dresses from City Kid Style (Giveaway) | bellingFAM
Take one every time she speaks in a baby talk tone of voice. Take two if she screeches, “That’s so CUTE!”
LikeLike
Take one for every time she sees something and sucks all the air in (especially while you are driving and scares the life out of you). That she just huffed out of her lungs because you said something she didn’t like
LikeLike
You are my new favorite mom! I was just hating my life as a “tween” mom, but now you’ve made it fun! I am sharing this drinking game with my mom friends and we will commence said activities while hanging out in each others’ kitchens sipping on brews. Thank you!
“Take one if she says, Mom – stop singing in front of my friends!”
This usually happens while I’m driving carpool… Yes, I sing along to Ke$ha, Iggy Asalea, and Taylor Swift. Because I can.
LikeLike
Drink every time she says. ” I know”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: The PTA Meeting Drinking Game for Parents | bellingFAM
Everytime she ask “where’s my _____?” or “what time is it?”. Better yet “what are we doing next?” Then there’s the constant “I want”
LikeLiked by 1 person
One drink for every time she says, “You’re soooooo mean!”
LikeLike
One drink for every eye roll and bonus if you get a mouth click with it…
LikeLike