Tag Archives: School Days

The PTA Meeting Drinking Game for Parents

(Psst! Follow The Parent Drinking Game on Instagram!)

Don’t miss the other bellingFAM Drinking Games for Parents, including the ever-popular Homework Drinking Game and the must-needed My Daughter is a Tween Drinking Game.

Someday, I’ll tell you about my time in the PTA.

Here’s what I’ll tell you in the meantime: If there is every a parent-related organization that will drive you to drink, this is it. I don’t usually drink during the week, and rarely on the weekends even (weird, RIGHT?), but ohmygod, I was a serious have-three-drinks-on-a-Tuesday-night kind of drinker during my year on the PTA board. Then, replace Tuesday with EVERY OTHER NIGHT OF THE WEEK. I’ve entertained the idea of opening a rehab that PTA board members can go to straight after serving their time. Make that a rehab/witness protection program. With yoga. And silence. Lots of silence.

But, I digress.

Introducing our latest drinking game for parents…

PTA Drinking Game

The PTA Meeting Drinking Game for Parents
(Note: This game is played with anything you can pour in a flask.)

Playing is easier than trying to follow your PTA’s bylaws. Take a drink…

  • For every year that you’ve been on the PTA. Take two drinks for every year you’ve been a board member or served on a committee.
  • If you show up late and have to sit in the front.
  • If you show up late and there aren’t any chairs left, so you have to unfold a super-creaky metal chair from off of the chair rack.
  • For every kid you had to bring with you to the meeting. One drink for each school-aged kid. Drink double if you brought a toddler.
  • If your cell phone rings in the middle of the meeting. Take another drink if your tween daughter changed your ringtone to a Ariana Grande song.
  • Every time you vote on something.
  • Every time another PTA member starts a sentence with “I hate to bring this up, BUT…”
  • For every time you volunteer to help with something without fully realizing what you just volunteered to help with.
  • Every time another parent makes some grandiose suggestion without having any idea of how to implement it… and without volunteering to head it up themselves.
  • When someone forgets to second a motion.
  • If you’re a PTA member as a parent and a teacher.
  • Any time someone says “Box Tops.” Drink again if you’re the Box Tops coordinator.
  • If you’re pretty sure you turned in your membership check this year.
  • If your meeting lasts longer than an hour. A drink for each 5-minute increment it goes on…
  • For the following PTA-related phrases: Nomination Committee, engagement, bake sale, Sign-Up Genius, jog-a-thon.
  • If you’re looking at the budget spreadsheet and have no clue what it means. Drink again if you raise your hand to vote to approve it anyway.

What would you add to the PTA Meeting Drinking Game for Parents? Leave them in the comments so that we can add them (with credit…)!

Note: We hate to state the obvious, but drinking this much probably isn’t safe. This drinking game is only intended to be read for fun. They are not actual drinking suggestions. Because if you drank this much, you’d be drunk. Or if you’re me, super drunk. Please be safe and responsible and put the safety of your children first. <stepping down>

The Homework Drinking Game for Parents

Homework Drinking Game

(Psst! Follow The Parent Drinking Game on Instagram!)

Let’s be honest. Our kids’ homework is driving us to drink.

As I was having a beer while helping Janie with her homework last night, I realized that we’re really all in this together. Homework. Common Core. Math worksheets. Spelling tests. Trying to remember where the hell that comma goes.

And, since misery loves company, I’m happy to introduce bellingFAM’s own Homework Drinking Game.

You’ll never dread homework time again! (Although, your kids might start to…)

Don’t worry, the instructions are easy. Grab the drink of your choice — a glass of wine, a pint of beer, or something more serious in a coffee mug that makes it look like you’re drinking tea — then sit down with your kids to help with their homework.

Next, channel those good old college days and drink when…

  • Your child brings up anything to do with Common Core. Drink again if you rolled your eyes.
  • You start any sentence with “When I was in school…”
  • You question if you even went to college considering you can’t seem to do 1st grade math problems
  • You have to sign your full name in a teeny tiny box somewhere on your child’s homework sheet
  • You successfully remember how to use it’s vs. its
  • You have a child who can read to you, rather than the other way around
  • You have to use Google to remember how to add/subtract/multiply/divide fractions
  • You say “I before E” in your head… take two drinks if you say it out loud
  • You try to convince your child to finish their homework in the morning… when your co-parent is on homework duty for the day
  • You suggest they look that up in an encyclopedia and they look at you like your hair is on fire
  • You get caught skipping pages when reading to your child
  • You can actually spell any of the spelling words on their list yourself… one drink for every correct word, folks!
  • Your child runs out of mechanical pencil lead and refuses to use an old fashioned No. 2
  • There are assignments that need to be hand-written… drink once for double-spaced and twice for single-spaced
  • You sign your name to each permission slip/release form/emergency information sheet/parent note in their folder
  • You volunteered in their class today
  • Your child had early-release or late-arrival today
  • And, last, but not least, drink when they finish for the night… And, if they finished their homework in less than an hour, take another drink. Hell, pour yourself a fresh one. You deserve it.

Don’t miss our newest version… The “My Daughter is a Tween” Drinking Game for Parents.

Note: We hate to state the obvious, but drinking this much probably isn’t safe. This drinking game is only intended to be read for fun. They are not actual drinking suggestions. Because if you drank this much, you’d be drunk. Or if you’re me, super drunk. Please be safe and responsible and put the safety of your children first. <stepping down>

Happy first day of school, bellingFAMILIES!

First Day of School 2014

Happy first day of school!

We got everyone delivered to their new classrooms (and schools!) with smiles on their faces. The girls are at a new school this year, since we moved earlier in the spring. And Everett is in the big-kid class in preschool, his last year!

How did your first day go? What was the first thing you did after you dropped your kids off at school? We both headed to work… exciting stuff, right? (to be honest, i’m thrilled to be back and am enjoying the quality time with my inbox, a little zac brown on pandora and a pumpkin spice latte.)